I always feel a little panicked when I hear the announcement from the airline attendant, “Please turn off all personal electronic devices, anything that has an on and off switch.” For the next few minutes I have to be creative with my time, so I have learned to love reading magazines. I wonder if sometimes our personal electronics can actual distract us from more meaningful experiences.
This past week, I met with a well-known leader who makes a similar announcement every week in his home. He declares his home a no-personal-electronics zone. When he first announced the idea to his family, there was a threat of mutiny from his kids. The idea seems a little radical. From the time his kids get home until the work day starts the next day, phones, internet, TV, video games are all off. He claims that after a few weeks of withdrawals and the shakes, his family actually began to connect at a different level. So how did they use their extra time together? They had intense bible study! No, just kidding. They actually spent a lot of time playing board games.
Here’s an interesting idea. What if you got serious about having fun together as a family? I’m not suggesting that you block satellites for the entire week, but what if you just start with a day or two?
Here’s a simple goal. Try to have more fun doing something together as a family than any of your kids could ever have on their own with their personal electronic devices. Create a no-personal-electronics zone as a family, even if it’s for a few hours, and try to learn how to play together.
Tell us some creative things you do as a family to play together.
We have backyard camp outs. We set up a tent, and start a fire in the fire pit. We roast hot dogs and marshmallows, tell ghost stories and sing songs together. It’s the beauty of spending time together without having to go very far…..our bathroom and showers are just inside the door. WE don’t answer the phone, have friends over, or leave the yard while we are on a camping trip.
Another thing we do is have family date night. The kids choose together what activity we will do and what we will eat, and we do it as a family.
To get some one on one time….we have mommy and daddy dates. We take turns taking our kids out one on one…..they choose the activity and the parent to take them. Our daughter loves having dates with Daddy. They go out to eat and she gets her daddy all to herself. Other than that. We tend to serve as a family. Even though it can be work….we have a great time doing it together and we learn about each other along the way!
Have a ball, literally! We go outside and play catch or a game we call “Rules rule”, it works pretty much like this; we will bounce the ball as high as we can then make up a rule as to how it must be caught, each time a new rule is added, it can get pretty crazy. I read somewhere that the most popular toy in the world is a ball, I believe it.
We have a lot of time in the car b/c we live out in the country. When we bought a van with a DVD player, I immediately announced movies are reserved for trips longer than an hour. We never carry movies in our van unless we’re going on a road trip. SO, we have a lot of time together for other creative things.
One thing we like to do is tell a memory. My girls love to hear stories from my childhood. There doesn’t have to be a big event involved, they just want to hear what it was like for me as a child. Sometimes my memories are about something one of my girls is currently going through; this gives them an example of how to handle the situation (or how NOT to handle the situation, depending on the outcome of my experience). It’s fun to take your kids on a trip down memory lane, especially when you get to decide what to tell them or what to leave out. I try to make it as honest as possible… and I’m sure this level of openness will change as they get older.
Something else we do in the car is sing! I’ve downloaded some really fun songs–NOT kids songs, but songs that are okay for kids to listen to–and they love to sing along. Johnny Cash and Elvis are favorites. This teaches them self-confidence and helps them develop a sense of rhythm. They’ve also heard references to literature in some of the lyrics; when they make that connection, it makes the world seem smaller, makes them feel more a part of the music and literature. These songs become a part of the chid, something to hum while working away at homework, something to chant while walking through the woods… something they might pass along to the next generation.
Connections help children understand the world around them. Parents are responsible for helping their child make as many of those connections as possible. Understanding their background will help the child connect with the parent. Songs can also be very powerful through lyrics–building a bridge between the people enjoying it and the artist performing it. “Airplane mode” is a perfect time for making more connections.
We do a few things that may seem old fashioned but our family is the better for it. We always eat our meals together, at the table. A novel idea but there is no better way to talk about the day than over a big bowl of soup. We don’t allow video games. Period. Our kids may be young but it has already started for so many of their friends. They know we aren’t going to give in, so end of discussion. We get the boys outside as much as possible. My husband is a big believer in Nature Deficit Disorder and truly believes that getting outside helps our kids in so many ways, they respect nature, they respect the place, they respect each other. We also love to take an after dinner walk with our giant dog. Nothing puts the silly into two little boys like a basset hound chasing a rabbit. Like I said, old fashioned, but in this fast paced world maybe a stroll is what it takes to connect as a family.
we like to play games, duh. and we like to eat dinner off of one big platter with forks to go around… hijinks invariably ensue. we usually do this with fish and veggies. sometimes, its appetizers for dinner… apparently this amps up the fun.
We still love to have family game night. As the kids get older, it is hard to do weekly but at least biweekly in some way whether it is board games, taking it outside or rainy nights with a game of wii bowling. We don’t go easy on the kids either…. we have found that they love beating us even more when they know it was done the right way!
Also, “Crank it Up”. Turn off the TV, put on a CD and dance and be silly together. Parents should never forget what it is like to be a kid.
Our family loves to play together….if it has a ball, we love it. We play backyard soccer, kickball, basketball, volleyball… my husband plays “sky ball” where he takes a tennis ball and racket, rockets the ball up in the sky and the kids try to catch it. Let’s face it…as long as we’re all together and having fun, they are too.