For as long as I can remember, I have finished out my day with the exchange of “favorite things.” As the oldest of three sisters covering a five-year age span, we began this tradition when I was in elementary school and while my sisters were very small. My dad’s job often demanded his absence from after school interactions and family dinner. It was common for him to arrive home just as we were tucking in to read bedtime stories.
Immediately after our last book and before prayers, mom would ask each of us children to recount our favorite thing from that particular day. The best memory of the day was nearly always an otherwise mundane moment that had special meaning to one of us girls. My parents still recall the story of waking near midnight to the whimpers of my preschool-aged sister as she entered their bedroom exclaiming, “We forgot to do favorite things today and I had something I wanted to share!”
Our answers provided a snapshot of the daily events my father may have missed, as well as a bit of insight into our rapidly developing individual personalities. Quite often, an amusing tale would emerge out of this sharing time. Almost always, giggles were exchanged as we recounted our funny experiences. Sometimes we playfully argued over whose event deserved the most laughs, and thus the celebrated status. Even through high school, we looked forward to our nighttime ritual and the opportunity to share a bit of our day with each other.
The tradition was begun nearly thirty years ago, but it remains today. Now a mother myself, my most anticipated part of the day is “favorite things.” I look forward to the revelation of the most impressive event in the mind of my six year old son. I set aside the task list and let the phone go to voicemail so my young son has my undivided attention. It’s during this time that I am so rewarded with his “favorite thing” memory of the day. Sharing snow cones, making a card with glitter or finding caterpillars in the backyard are typical happenings that become notable moments. Nearly always I walk away from our “favorite things” time learning something new about my son’s personality or his budding world-view.
This daily family practice often functions as the vehicle for my own personal refocus. Recently when my son opted to name the backyard picnic as his top memory rather than the purchase of a new toy the same day, I was reminded that to him, more money does not equate to a better quality of life. Rather, investing a few minutes of inconvenience by packing up lunch and relocating amidst the mosquitoes and hot sun was the currency required for creating that day’s treasured moment.
Along with her husband and young son, Amy Fenton Lee lives in Cumming, GA. For more on Amy and her writing see www.amyfentonlee.com and www.theinclusivechurch.com.
Great article, Amy. I was surprised the other day when my 6 year old remembered a similar spur of the moment, un-extravagant picnic in the backyard with her friends when she was only 3 and wanted to recreate the experience again. It’s amazing what an impact just the little things we do has on our kids.
Thanks Karen for your sweet comment. Candidly I’ll admit that there are some days that “favorite things” serves as my wake-up call to be more in-tune with my child. I’m pretty task oriented and so it is easy for me to miss what’s going in his life.
Great article. It has encouraged me to put back something similar back in place for my three girls. (I have slipped away from it) We do what is called “high/lows”. We go around during dinner or after an event they attended without us and ask what their high was and what their low was. My girls are still young but I am hoping to set that foundation for them to be able to share with me as they get older.
Amy – I think I’m going to use your idea of high/lows. I love it! So important to give kids the opportunity to work through things that might be bothering them. Thanks for this idea.