by Cara Martens
I’ve got to be honest—I’m more of a planter and less of a water-er. Around this time of the year, I begin to get a little itch to add some color to my world. With great care and excitement, I check out all the local offerings of plants—looking for just the right mix and price. I take most of a day to trim back (or pull out) anything that didn’t make it through the winter. Then I add in new potting soil, chock full of ingredients I can’t say or spell. And I carefully place my young new plants in a hole dug just for them and gently fill and pat the soil all around their new home. Finally, I dust off my dirty gloves and stand back to admire the overall effect.
Unfortunately for my new green-stemmed friends, at this point, my passion tends to run a little dry. It’s pretty hard for me to remember to water these guys, even though I know they’re at a fragile stage of life and struggling to make it through the transition from nursery to the big world outside it. And my sweet Goldendoodle, Boomer, certainly doesn’t make it any easier for them—he’s quite fond of pulling these sweet annual blooms right out of the ground or pot for an afternoon snack.
After years of battling my predisposition to being pumped at the beginning and then quickly losing interest (or in all honesty, hoping my husband steps in), I’ve finally realized that it’s all about making it a regular part of my routine and working it into my every day in a natural way.
So now after I take the kids to school each morning, as I’m walking back in the door, all I have to do is lean down to grab my waiting watering can. I fill it up and take just a minute before diving into my work day to focus on my flowers, especially the new ones. And once a week, I try to mix in a little fertilizer to help them stay bold and strong. Later as my kids and dog play in the yard, I take the opportunity to quickly pull a weed here and there or “dead head” to encourage some new blooms. And it’s no longer such a chore or something that overwhelms me and makes me feel guilty about all those good intentions.
All of this is honestly similar to how I struggle as a parent to really help my kids grow in their faith. Maybe you can relate. It’s pretty easy to snag up the latest book or bookmark a new blog full of ideas. It’s a lot harder to think through how you’ll put what you learned into play this week.
I want to help my kids connect the dots and increase their understanding of what it can look like to live out what they believe. That’s what I think will help their roots grow down deep—so they can survive the transitions and challenges that will and do come. And by thinking about natural points during the day when we have time together as well as pointing out what’s going on around us already, it’s not really adding anything to an already busy day—it’s just making the most of all the opportunities to grow!
What are some practical ways that you as a parent help your kids faith grow deeper? How can you make it a part of the rhythm of your day or week?
Cara Martens is the 252 Groups Director at Orange. She loves to write, research, and develop creative ideas. Cara and her husband, Kevin, have two kids and live in Texas.
Great analogy! Thanks for sharing.
Glad it connected with you, Jared! Anything you’d add?
Parenting is hard (at least good parenting is) and time doesn’t always permit us to sit down and teach our kids the things they need to know. HOWEVER, living my example is the best way for them to learn.
Let them watch us pray over meals (in our home and in public). Let them know it is not okay to gossip by not doing it ourselves. When someone gives us too much change back for our ice cream, notify that person- be honest.
Living the life we want them to live is the first step in teaching our children to be people of integrity and honor.
TC– I think this is a really good point about your example being the strongest teacher. Completely agree– I’ve read many times that we think kids are making the connection between why we do something (give back change) and what we believe– but they don’t always. So I try to say something like- that feels like something Jesus would do. Or admit that I was tempted or apologize if I make a mistake and say that I’m going to ask God to help me next time– trying to point out that this is a daily process and transformation- not an overnight one. Thanks so much for your comments– your kids are blessed to have you as a parent!
A really good word, Cara! Once again, something we have in common, for my gardening adventures have often started and ended as yours have – lots of passion, little follow-through. What a sad thought that I might have the same modus operandi with my kids, and epsecially when teaching them about Jesus, but I am sure there is some of that to all of us. Thanks for the reminder that it’s not about the big bursts of enthusiasm as it is the gentle plodding that makes the biggest difference in growth!
At least I’m not alone
Gentle plodding– a little here and a little there but in consistent bursts rather than all at the beginning– is a great way of putting it. And I really think the key is looking for natural times in our day when we’re already together or the circumstance creates an opportunity rather than adding it on as a separate “to do”– that’s not showing our kids how it’s weaved into doing life day to day. Just from your stories, I know that you work at that and really take time to invest in your kids- with love and laughter! You guys inspire me…
Cara,
What a great way to look at our task as parents! Growing roots deeper is what we all strive to do; and you are right that does take being intentional. I have the planting itch right now also, and I do get the itch for doing the latest “idea” to teach my children about God. Sometimes, I have to get back to the basice by getting out my Bible to see what God is telling me today and what I am learning with them. I hope and pray that this will help them to process God’s word throughout their lives. Sometimes, we get so busy educating children on the Bible that we forget to apply what we are learning. Thanks again for the reminder to “Grow Deep Roots”.
I completely agree with the comments about being the example for our children; responding with integrity, honesty and truth in our every day lives.
I also think we need to go beyond this, though. I think we need to be actively teaching our children – we need to be reading the Word with them, talking about it, learning verses together (mom and dad, too) and commenting on how the stories or verses apply to our every day lives, challenging each other to “put in the work” that God requires of us.
I think we need to actively teach our children how to pray. The Lord’s Prayer is a good place to start, but we need to go beyond that. Children need to hear their parents pray and seek forgiveness (for specific things), they need to hear their parents express thankful hearts for all of God’s gifts in their lives (specific things, again)and they need to hear their parents seek God’s guidance and help in their lives.
Parenting is a daily task, and sometimes it get tedious and sometimes it’s joyful and sometimes it sucks. I had a discussion with my kids last night about how they were making me miserable in the fact that I had to turn into ” Angry Mom” in order for them to do the right thing, rather than making that choice for themselves…. I think they will not have deep roots until they grow in maturity, it just doesn’t translate to them yet, the importance of making good honest choices. The consequences are not real enough or unpleasant enough to stop them from crossing the boundaries, and the temptations on the other side are just to interesting to resist!
I actually started a website to help parents who, like me, want to show their children who God is and why having a heart after him is the most important thing they can ever have using the book of Proverbs as my guide. It is called Proverbs For Life. It is fun to see deep truths begin to take root in the hearts of my kids. As a parent, there is nothing better…
This week I set up a prayer center in our home office. The lava lamp is on thru the day to remind us of God’s presence. There is a “sorry box” set up for us to record our moments of repentance (thank you, Ann Voskamp http://www.aholyexperience). My kids have been using this worship center! my husband and I are using it too.
I also have an app on my iTouch that chimes on the hour. It’s my God-loves-us chime (thank you, Reggie Joiner). It chimes each hour and we re-connect with God’s never-ending love and presence with us.
I’m always looking for fresh ways to bring the presence of Jesus into our days and routines. It keeps my experience of Jesus fresh and clear too.