Do you remember the first time you realized your parents weren’t perfect? I don’t. It was just a gradual realization for me. But I do remember the first time I realized one of my children didn’t think I was perfect anymore. It’s not that I ever believed I could keep up the “Dad knows everything and can never do anything wrong” image forever. I was just hoping to maintain some form of hero status for as long as possible.
As a young parent I embraced the idea that the most tangible expression of a child’s heavenly Father is their parent. I still agree with that statement to a great degree, but I could also give you a list of reasons why that idea makes me nervous. As my kids grew older I became increasingly aware of why it was important for them to shift their allegiance and faith away from me and to their heavenly Father as soon as possible. On the one hand, I knew intuitively that I affected their impressions of God. On the other, I guess I didn’t want God to get blamed for my quirks and dysfunction.
I remember trying to explain my role as a dad to my youngest daughter one day when she was in the 5th grade. I think I said something like, “You know as a dad I am supposed to show you what God is like.” Her quick reply was classic, “That seems like a lot of pressure, but you don’t need to worry about it. I don’t think I will ever get you mixed up with God.” I wasn’t sure how to respond, but the sobering reality is her relationship with God is more important than her relationship with me. Anything I can do to become intentional about letting my kids go, and pointing them toward trusting God is critical for their future and personal growth.
A couple of weeks ago I invited a number of people to share their personal dreams with a gathering of over 4,000 leaders. When my daughter walked out on the stage wearing a t-shirt with the description of what she wants to do, I remembered our conversation when she was in the 5th grade. She stepped up to the microphone and said, “I want to teach girls about their perfect heavenly Father.” It was emotional for me, and also a little humorous. I reflected on the struggles of parenting, and found myself grateful for the perfect love of a heavenly Father that I know will follow my children through the rest of their lives.
So when you imagine the end for your children, how do you intentionally point them toward the perfect love of a heavenly Father?
I was there that day. I didn’t know that was your daughter, but her statement of what was on her heart got me thinking. How can I teach my own children about their perfect heavenly father.
One thing I have done intentionally is when my children see my weaknesses, I also allow them to see to who I run for help. I want them to understand that this life is not perfect, but God can help us through anything.
Another thing I’ve done is when I see them struggle….try to use the guidence God has given us in the Bible to give them answers.
I hope that by doing these things, and encouraging in their journey towards a meaniningful relationship with God that even when the going gets tough….they know who they can rely on always! God!
I have tried to do this by apologizing to my boys when I mess up (something my parents would never have done) and talking to them about my own faith struggles where appropriate. I hope it will show them that I am still growing and learning, and that God is always there for us as we grow and learn. I really believe that parents must talk through their own faith struggles and triumphs with their kids, so that kids can see REAL faith in action! Kids want to know that our faith is more than just words…and that it works all the time, not just on Sunday mornings!
Through all things we point our children to their heavenly daddy. When we are feeling happiness, joy, pain, saddness, anger, etc., we teach them that He is the one to turn to. Praying as a family on a consistent basis shows your children who you turn to in all circumstances. They will follow who you follow. They need to know that you Love God. Make sure that is part of your spoken prayer with your children.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 – Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. NLT