Sarah, my daughter, took this picture. We just got back from Haiti last week. We were there with a group of college interns who were rebuilding a widow’s home and working in an orphanage. Watching teenagers and college students get involved with the hurting and devastated people in Haiti reminded me of a principle we talk about in Parenting Beyond Your Capacity. As parents we need to give our children opportunities to become involved with the problems and pain of others. Affluence has a way of turning us inward and fueling our selfishness. Serving others does just the opposite. It helps us remember that we are not the center of the universe. When we care for other people it fuels a perspective that every created human being has intrinsic value. Our sense of value is linked to how we value those around us. The best way to make your children feel significant is not by telling them they are significant, but by giving them something significant to do. Start as soon as you can inviting your children to care for other people. If you want your children to be transformed into kind and compassionate adults, give them plenty of opportunities to help others carry their load. We needed to be in Haiti last week, not because they needed us, but because we needed them. We needed to learn from their struggles. We needed to see their passion. We needed to be reminded that it’s not all about us. We needed to be changed by them.
What are some practical ways you have prompted your children to serve others?
We serve at Church in many different ways. Our kids have served along side of us. Whether it be lifting a broom, carrying in toys for the little kids, we serve as much as we can. We have also been involved with Operation Christmas Child every years since my daughter was born. Each child gets to take a box for a child of the same age and sex and fill it for Christmas. We also have adopted several families over the years at different times. My children have not only been a part of the shopping and planning, but the delivery. They’ve sacrificed their own money to do rice bowls. They have very generous hearts. On a personal level, my 9 year old daughter’s best friend is from a recently broken home. We have encouraged out daughter to be kind to that friend and support her. We talk a lot about what’s going on in her friend’s life and I’m always on top of what’s going on between the 2 of them. I’m just glad that Compassion seems to be a gift that both of my children have. We have weaved service into so many layers of our lives that it comes naturally to them. I guess, I have done that, because that is how I was raised. Compassion breeds compassion!
I serve at Church – and take my daughters every opportunity I have! When they see ME serve (and have SO MUCH FUN DOING IT!), I think it makes them want to serve. When we show compassion, I think it brings out their compassion! They watch every move you make!
This post is so true…and such a passion for me! For our own kids, we’ve taken them to countries such as Uganda and Peru for their 16th birthday. Our youngest will be traveling with my husband to Uganda in just over a month. This has been one of the best opportunities we’ve had to experience life with our children. To observe them loving and serving others; and to listen to them include their friends at school in the experience through things such as raising money to help build a well, collecting soccer balls for kids’teams in Uganda, or making pillowcase dresses with other students leaves me in awe. Keep encouraging parents to spread compassion to their children–it’s contagious!
We serve at Church in many different ways. Our kids have served along side of us. Whether it be lifting a broom, carrying in toys for the little kids, we serve as much as we can. We have also been involved with Operation Christmas Child every years since my daughter was born. Each child gets to take a box for a child of the same age and sex and fill it for Christmas. We also have adopted several families over the years at different times. My children have not only been a part of the shopping and planning, but the delivery. They’ve sacrificed their own money to do rice bowls. They have very generous hearts. On a personal level, my 9 year old daughter’s best friend is from a recently broken home. We have encouraged out daughter to be kind to that friend and support her. We talk a lot about what’s going on in her friend’s life and I’m always on top of what’s going on between the 2 of them. I’m just glad that Compassion seems to be a gift that both of my children have. We have weaved service into so many layers of our lives that it comes naturally to them. I guess, I have done that, because that is how I was raised. Compassion breeds compassion!
I have been challenging my kids to sacrifice money that would have bought an insignificant pleasure (snow-cone, slushie, ice cream, etc) in order to save and give for things like mosquito nets through compassion international’s bite-back, or VOM’s Bible’s Unbound. I know to grown-ups this sounds small, but to kids, this is huge sacrifice (especially when we are approaching Sonic). I also take them with me to serve beside me as we go to nursing homes, teaching and training kids to run with God, feed the homeless, help those in the community who need assistance with cleaning their homes, etc… I wonder if they will catch it or just see it as something Dad and Mom are making me do.
BTW… I love the idea of taking them on an international missions trip for their 16th birthdays.
For the past 12 years my family has done an annual food drive in our neighborhood for the local food bank. On the Wed. after Halloween we walk around dropping off bags on doorsteps and then on the following Sunday after church we collect all the bags. My kids are in high school and college now and they still enjoy this family time. One of my favorite memories is watching when they were young carrying bags bigger than they were. It still warms my heart to think back on how excited they were to collect food. One neighbor gave the biggest Summer Sausage roll I’ve ever seen and I’ll never forget how my daughter squealed with delight at this treasure. It was the same squeal of delight she used on Christmas morning!