So neither of us is a parenting expert. We are simply dads who constantly try to remind each other about the important stuff related to our families. We both openly admit that we are
- somewhat dysfunctional,
- a little insecure,
- more stressed than we should be.
Oh, and there is one other fact that we will occasionally hide from strangers we meet. We are both pastors. That means we have spent most of our adult lives working in churches to help people grow in their relationships with God.
We don’t really consider ourselves to be experts on God or relationships. But we are both committed to a lifelong pursuit of figuring out how to love God and our families better, and to help other people do the same.
The ages of our children add up to nearly 120 years. That means we have collectively parented for over 43,500 days. So we have had a lot of time to experiment on our children. We have made a host of mistakes, but we have also had quite a few accidental discoveries that led to powerful and positive memories. Now that all of our children have turned out practically perfect, we are both comfortable writing a blog and book about our parenting skills. (Not really … just checking to see if you were actually reading.) Let us rephrase: Now that we have realized there is something more important than getting your kids to “turn out right,” we were compelled to write about what we are learning. We called our book Parenting Beyond your Capacity, and it’s being released today at the Orange Conference! And our blog is launching today to invite parents and church leaders into an ongoing conversation.
So let’s start. Here’s today’s question. What’s your biggest challenge as a parent? In the next, post Carey will share his.
My biggest challenge as a mom is having enough time in the day- making the most of the moments I have with my kids instead of constantly rushing us on to the next thing. Sometimes I have to remind myself to not just be physically present, but emotionally– to make eye contact and listen deeply to show I care and value what they are saying. Anyone else have this challenge or another like it, so I’m not out here alone??
I totally agree, Cara! My kids can tell when I’m not there emotionally. I often forget to enjoy the small moments with my kids because I’m so distracted with the small details in life. It’s so rewarding when I take the time to focus completely on them!
Biggest Challenge as a parent: Continually being aware of when I slip into “culture parent role” instead of intended “biblical parent role.”
I can definitely identify w/ Cara… and as a homeschooling mother of 2 boys (9 & 6) it is easy for me to think I’ve given them lots of time and forget they need fun time with me too (a difficult time for me, as I’m more task/goal oriented vs. relational in nature.) But my biggest challenge is finding creative ways to teach them action/consequence (like for constant bickering) and knowing what are appropriate consequences for something like that.
It sounds like all the task people are lining up on this blog – me too. I’m thinking social media doesn’t make it any easier. My kids had come to strongly resent my blackberry and then my iPhone. I think we’ve worked through it (I put it away more), but I always need to challenge myself to ensure that when I get home I decide to be home.
My biggest challenge as a parent is how to talk to my college age youth about her life and the direction her life is going based on her grades, her priorities and decisions she is making now that will affect her life.
My biggest challenge as a parent is not allowing my insecurities and faults to become the insecurities and faults of my children.
Phil,
Can you explain the culture parent role versus the biblical parent role. I would love to understand that in detail. I’ve never heard those terms before.
My biggest challenge is balance…I work as a full-time Children’s Director and I love what I do! Yet when I get home I am Mommy, wife, laundry person, house cleaner etc. I love being a Mom and a wife too, it is just hard to find a balance to the best at all!
I think one of the biggest challenges is other parents! When I was a child I could count on my friends parents or even the adults on the cul de sac to contact my mom if I was out of line. There was a solidarity among parents that I just don’t sense is there anymore. Maybe because there is a bigger divergence of values today.
The biggest challenge I find these days is finding a little bit of time for myself. Having two boys, ages 6 and 3, takes lots of patience, lots of creative thinking and lots of over the top problem solving. Sometimes I forget that I need a minute to myself just to collect my thoughts, cool down, have a cookie! Staying at home with the boys is a blessing but being home all day is exhausting.
My biggest challenge as a parent is helping my youngest daughter, 18, to truly understand her need for Christ. She was adopted by our family when she was 14, and she is making so many bad choices for her life.
My biggest challenge is not “enjoying” parenting as much as I should. Its hard work! I am usually more frustrated and exhausted than I am smiling and laughing with my three kids (ages 6, 5, and 2).
It seems a lot of the time, my two children 18 and 14 seem very ingrateful, and express that they have such horrible lives. I provide as much as I can as a single parent, even in our worst of times, they never really went without. I feel emotionally exausted by the constant barrage of “we want mores”.